time flies by, whether you like it or not

this might be my new all-time favorite picture of grace and i. granted, it's completely blurred and you don't see anyone's faces, but STILL. it makes my heart weak. --- or maybe that's just her? nevertheless, my little baby was snuggling and i had the camera a foot away. SCORE!

one of my favorite parts of motherhood, thus far, is snuggling. something about holding such a small person close to you is breathtaking. it's mind-shattering, heart-crushing, and time-stopping.

as you can imagine, as she gets bigger, the snuggle time seems to be less and less. there are days, though, when she wakes up from a nap and the first thing she does once in my arms is lays her head back down. it's as if she is saying "mom, i'm still tired, but i wanted you to hold me. you're the best."

i try to lie down in bed with her, but that will not do. see, then she discovers the land of sheets and pillows. those are way more exciting then lying with momma. but if i stand there and hold her, she'll let me hold her just a while longer. when i hold her, i am the only thing she wants; atleast for the first minute or two.. then she starts noticing the other exciting things in life, like toys, or the cats, or that mysterious something lying on the floor. next thing i know, she's down and crawling.

they really do grow that fast. i get it now, folks. she was a newborn just 9 months ago --- it seems like yesterday, but now she's crawling (and flirting with her uncles! babies can't understand what's wrong with that..okay? NO LIE!) and babbling away. what happened to my baby whose smile was always fart-affiliated and black poop was infamous in diaper-changing?

so even if this picture sucks, i love it. i don't have more than ten pictures of grace and i snuggling, and she's almost a year old. this is a memory i want to keep fresh in my mind and heart. soon enough, it will be over. she'll be 5, riding a bike, learning math and phonics, then suddenly graduating high school. argh. slow down, life.

please, slow down for me.