i'm an NFP cheerleader and proud of it

but that is not to say that i think NFP is a piece of cake, easy to practice, or easy to even want to practice. however, i'm a die-hard catholic, i love my body, and i understand that god never intended any part of life - including sexuality - to be all fun and games.

i have a really hard time with people who say NFP does not work for them. why? because i have TWO uterus's, was postpartum, and still managed to understand NFP to know exactly when we conceived this baby. had my husband and i abstained for those three nights or so, we wouldn't've gotten pregnant. simple as that. at that point, i hadn't even been taking my temperature, but just following the physical signs --- i had lost my thermometer --- and i still knew when i was fertile. wham-bam; things happen when you ovulate, folks, and they're not hard to figure out; your cervix will get squishy and your mucus will look like the snot that runs out of your child's nose during a cold. nope, it's not easy and can even be a little awkward --- i am not going to say that checking your cervix is an enjoyable thing, because quite frankly, i don't see the fun in it! BUT... it is not hard. i don't care how irregular you are: your cervix tells the truth, really.

a lot of couples piss, bitch, and moan about how NFP requires abstinence, and especially if you are irregular, weeks of abstinence... and how destroys the ability to be "unitive" in your marriages. alright, after reading Popcak's book, i am probably going to be the greatest jerk on the planet in this regard. listen to yourselves, folks. seriously? sexuality is the pinnacle of marital unity. i am not going to deny that, either. that, and i know how difficult it is to abstain during fertile periods, or even those questionable periods. chris and i went two weeks once, because i was having insanely fluctuating temperatures (the joys of being postpartum. be prepared for a lack of sex for some time.) i understand that frustration. however, there are other wonderful ways to be in union without being in the sack. prayer, snuggling, movies, long walks, date nights --- there is a plethora of other options out there.

what about how NFP is supposed to bring the couple together, and how usually it seems like it's simply a woman's sport with a husband who just wants to know if they can "do it" or not. alright, i can understand this. but that is a couple's problem, not an NFP problem. as a wife, if you want your husband more involved in your NFP, you have to call him out. i can testify to this. chris would wake me up and tell me to take my temperature. at the end of the day before we went to bed, i'd show him my chart and explain it to him. and yes, he'd say "so can we?" --- but after my response, he would always say "i figured that". he understood enough about it to know what was red light/green light.

but the only reason he was this involved is because i asked him, countless times, to pay attention.

Popcak brilliantly explains that NFP really is an excellent way to grow in holiness. why? because it forces the couple take part in both aspects of the virtues; both giving, compassion, and vulnerability --- as well as temperance, patience, and prayerfulness. it forces you to wait for that fertile time to pass; it forces the couple to discern whether or not this is the time to possibly conceive a child; and when it is all said and done, it allows for two or three weeks of rejoicing in bed. okay? basically one week out of the month, you should be consistently abstinent. and even a man --- who, gosh, they're the ones who always want it anyways (it's not like a woman ever wants it, really?) --- says that NFP is good for the relationship, and that abstaining for X amount of time is good for the marriage. seriously? a man said it. i feel like that speaks tenfold about the importance of occasional abstinence.

i am SO SICK of stupid people, with stupid excuses, who say that the Catholic Church cannot've considered every option; that the Catholic Church is a bunch of old men who are celibate, so how can they have a clue about sex. i am so sick and tired of it: that is the devil's lie. we all know it's a pain in the ass. however, the Church endorses NFP because it is the only way for a couple to celebrate their sexuality as God intended: without withholding a part of the self , without harming the body, without harming the environment, and without physiologically denying the communion that is shared from ejaculation. (this is interesting; upon ejaculation, hormones are released in both partners that cause an even closer bond. it's physical as much as emotional, folks!) it doesn't kill babies, it doesn't fear children, it doesn't philosophically lessen the goodness of sexuality. (this is from the philosophy junkie in me: sex with any contraception is LESS GOOD because it makes impossible a good that should naturally come from the action; sex with contraception disables the ability to conceive a child; however, NFP is perfectly fine, because it does not disable anything --- no "deed" is done to begin with.) NFP allows for the fullness of sexuality as God intended it to be.

so, that's my rant on NFP. i think i've stressed myself out a wee bit too much, as this is the second Braxton Hick contraction i've had since starting to write.

but seriously? do you understand? this is the way to holiness. we have to suffer. we have to endure. we have to believe and trust the Church, because it was instituted by Christ and i strongly believe He is continuing to lead us today.

the truth is the hardest thing to accept, but it's the hardest thing to argue with, when it all comes down to it.