i am not sure what i would call this.

recently, i've picked up an awesome book by the lovely Kimberly Hahn - Life Giving Love. basically, it is a beautiful testament into the reality of the gift of life.
she puts into perspective our culture and our world; which views children as burdens and pregnancy as a burden; and how all these things are so contrary to the truth.
from this book, i find even more strength in this pregnancy. it is a great reminder that, while our first two children - and perhaps even more of them, are close in age; this is not detrimental, but a blessing. our children are a blessing.
i have a lot of pregnant friends right now. i never thought i'd see the day, but i know about ten pregnant women. some of them have waited a long time before trying to get pregnant, by whatever means they chose; and some, by the glory of God, accepted the opportunity for new life at the start of their marriages (and i mean, honeymoon babies.)
life is such a beautiful blessing. fertility is a great gift. and children - while, they can make you crazy and radically change your life forever - and they can be broken, retarded, and disabled - but they have a purpose. i was watching "Extreme Home Makeover" today, and the Beach episode brought me to tears. the mother, Melissa, was speaking about two of her adopted children, and she couldn't've said it any better. she said that one of her children had a purpose for simply smiling and giggling - and that was all; that another of the children - her purpose was to simply look and raise up her hands. it wasn't much, but that was their purpose - that was why they were supposed to live.
i think about the many, many scary things that come with pregnancy and children... i think about all of the hardships and the fears that new parents have - as to if they can provide for their children. i think about that common statement to newlyweds: "wait and get to know eachother" - and for me, so far, with each and every one of those things, i can only think: "why should any of this stop us from bringing new life into the world?"
life is not supposed to be a piece of cake. children aren't either.
when chris and i found out we were expecting grace but three months into our dating relationship, i can tell you that i was horrified. basically, we had zipped on through a courtship and newlywed stage, and gotten ourselves a baby. we barely knew eachother - what we knew we loved, nonetheless - but - what?
grace is our glue. when i was pregnant with her - and still so, i have learned so much about both of us. get to know eachother? that's a continual process. don't delay children for that. it takes nine months to make a baby, after all, and you might not even get pregnant on that first try. by the time that baby comes out, i promise, you'll know eachother plenty well - and you'll know the ugliest and best sides. you will know the pregnant frustrated moody wife; the father who feels inadequate; you'll know the father who goes out to buy his wife wendy's in the middle of the night; and the wife who humbly carries another human person within her.
getting pregnant again... is a little crazy... but we are overjoyed. with this second pregnancy, you add a whole extra factor to the mix - taking care of the first while loving the wife who's pregnant with the second. it's different, and it's still beautiful.
so what am i saying? i don't really know. life is beautiful. don't shun it, don't prevent it. if God knows you're ready, He'll let it be. He'll bless you when you're ready. He'll bless you with a year and a half of infertility from breastfeeding, or just let you not get pregnant if you're not ready yet. He will do what He knows to be best.
children are a great gift. how awesome and blessed are we.